Why now?  Why try?  Why not? Play and learn, learn and play or something like that.  Kick or be kicked or is that and be kicked?  It is twisted and reality.  What happens when you contradict your instinct?  (aside - read Instinct vs reason by EAP)  What does that have to do with this?  What doesn't it have to do with it?  Old and tired, tired of being old.  Curse this curse.  Just keep playing until...